Dejections

March 31st, 2008

HAS AMERICA GONE TO THE DOGS?

Posted in Hall Of Humor

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

HAS AMERICA GONE TO THE DOGS?
– Or, “Woofstock” Here We Come! –

Canucks take a good deal of pride in their hockey, beer, and cellular telephones (especially those Fido commercials about perky pet-owners who bear a striking resemblance to their posh- or pathetic-looking pooches).

Recently in Toronto, (the capital of everything BIG in Canada), they held a weird and wonderful event, aptly called “Woofstock”, to celebrate man’s best friend plus push every imaginable product and service to pamper one’s hip-looking hound.

The most fur-friendly towns in Canada are probably Dog Creek or Poopoo Creek (British Columbia), Dog’s Nest (Ontario) and Dog Pound (Alberta). Perhaps, the only place where they’ve actually waged a war over the issue of freedom for Fido is in Victoria, British Columbia. Elected officials there recently passed a bylaw permitting off-leash perambulating and piddling, (with free doggie-doo-doo bags as an incentive for well-behaved pet-owners who care to stroll along the scenic seashore and tourist-trap trail known as “Dallas Road”).

In fact, America is home to some unusual pastimes such the enduring love of its citizens for bigger-than-life spectator sports. One of the most popular forms of entertainment involves media-hungry politicians who simply adore any opportunity to “mark their territory”, “get their paws on a bone”, and “let a little fur fly” (as long as they’re not caught on tape “barking up the wrong tree”).

Come to think of it, if the current President of the United States needs canine confidantes in the Whitehouse, (two Scottish terriers named “Miss Beasley” and “Barney”) to help him guide the affairs of state, (in return for a free run of the red carpet), then you know things must be hunky dory in the “Land of Lassie” and friends. And he is not alone in seeking the companionship of a cuddly canine. At least 200 pooches have resided at this prestigious address since the birth of this pet-friendly nation.
And for those who can’t get enough hair-raising facts to stimulate their minds, there are 28.4 million web pages devoted to these marvellous mutts. As if that were not enough, more than 1,086 geographic features (including airports, bars, bays, beaches, bridges, buildings, canals, capes, cemeteries, channels, churches, cliffs, crossings, dams, flats, gaps, glaciers, islands, keys, lakes, mines, oilfields, parks, pillars, post-offices, ranges, reservoirs, ridges, schools, springs, streams, summits, swamps, valleys, and wells) have been named after these blessed bow-wowing creatures (according to the U.S. Geological Survey - National Mapping Information website).

It may be a “dog-eat-dog world” out there but judging from the plethora of pet-inspired U.S. place names, the most fido-friendly towns to hang out in are probably:

- Big Lick (North Carolina)
- Canine Gulch (Alaska)
- Dog Bluff (South Carolina)
- Dog Canyon Estates (New Mexico)
- Dog Corners (Maine), Dogs Corners (New Jersey)
- Dog Creek (Oklahoma, Kentucky)
- Dog Ear Lake (Florida)
- Dog Hill (Tennessee)
- Dog Pond (Arizona)
- Dog Hole Lake (Florida)
- Doggie Island (South Carolina)
- Doghouse Junction (California)
- Dog Island (Florida)
- Dog Island Corner (Maine)
- Dogpatch (Alaska, Arkansas, Arizona), Dog Patch (West Virginia)
- Dog Ridge (Texas)
- Dogtail Corners (New York)
- Dogtown (Alabama, California, Florida, Kentucky, Maryland, Maine, Mississippi, New England, New York, Pennsylvania, Tennessee)
- Dogsboro (Georgia)
- Dog Walk (Illinois, Kentucky)
- Dogway (West Virginia)
- Gnaw Bone (Indiana)
- Licking (Mississippi)
- Mutt (Virginia)
- Paw Paw (Illinois)
- Poocham (New Hampshire)
- Tick Bite (North Carolina)
- Township of Dog Ear (South Dakota)

Americans currently spend close to $34 billion annually on their pets. While ornery owners sometimes find themselves in the proverbial “doghouse”, millions of mischievous mutts and misbehaving mongrels enjoy a life of ease as someone’s favorite “animal companion”.

It is estimated that 64.5% of American adults are now categorized as overweight according to the American Asssociation Obesity. As if that’s not enough, more than 40% of household pets today are said to be obese, (causing alarm among the nation’s pet-insurance providers as health-related illness claims for “Max” or “Minnie” spiral out of control).

Meanwhile back in Emerald City, vets are trying to capitalize quickly on the latest canine craze among celebrity pet-owners — tummy tucks, face-lifts and extreme-makeovers. So rest assured “Petunia Plump”, “Ms Piggly-Wiggly” and “Fat Freddie” …you too can be slim and trim (just like Toto for pete’s sake!)

According to Amazon.com, (a remarkable database of delightful doggie doodads for canine consumers), there’s something for everyone who enjoys a bit of “Rufus retail therapy”. Forget about “letting sleeping dogs lie”, or “teaching old dogs new tricks”, because if one’s keen about making sure “every dog has his day”, then “putting on the dog” is all that’s required (plus a valid credit card of course).

Here’s a hint of just how important these pooch products and dandy “dogs” of all kinds are to the economy of the world’s richest country. According to the folks at Amazon.com, they have more than 96,000 canine consumer products in 38 categories to choose from! Judging from these statistics, some might conclude that America has definitely gone to the dogs — and they could be right!!

Meanwhile across the pond in England, professionals from “PetPlanet” point out that one insurance company has collected file cabinets of doggy data about which mutts have the highest accident-rate. So do take care and avoid naming the silly scamp Rush, Fagin, Heinze, Berty, Ruskin, Jena, Cagney, Captain, Brook, or Radar please.

Lest anyone think that everyone’s gone completely bonkers, one only has to read the amazing anecdotes of Aesop (whom it seems had a penchant for pooch platitudes judging from his wildebeest works entitled “The Dog in the Manger”, “The Dog and the Wolf” and “The Fox, The Cock and the Dog”).

May the Force of Fido be with you and yours forever and ever!

PS…and don’t forget to celebrate the 55th anniversary of “Snoopy”, (the best-known, blinking beagle in town), and all the gang from the “Peanuts” cartoon-strip this year!

About the Author

Thor Trewoofe, a glad-handing globe-trotter with a keen interest in those virile vikings who once ruled the world of whacking, whomping, and perhaps far too much whoopdedoing for their own good, and an accidental tourist in the Court of the Quipping Queen at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com

March 31st, 2008

How to Shop for the Best Mortgage Loan

Posted in Buying + Selling Real Estate

Shopping for a mortgage loan can be overwhelming. Whether you are purchasing a new home, refinancing your existing mortgage, taking out a 2nd mortgage, or applying for a home equity loan, you need to do your homework first.

When comparison shopping for a mortgage loan you need to collect information from a variety of lenders including interest rates, annual percentage rates, terms, and lender fees. Ask your mortgage lender or broker for a detailed list of these items for each loan you are considering. You can easily locate this information on the Internet without going through a third party.

Compare mortgage loans of equal term lengths. It does not make sense comparing a 15 year mortgage to a 30 year mortgage unless you want to see the difference in your monthly payment amount. Look at the interest rates: does the mortgage come with fixed rates or adjustable interest rates? What is the term length of the mortgage? Will you be required to pay points up from to qualify for the loan? Are you going to be required to purchase Private Mortgage Insurance?

One of the items the lender should provide you is the Annual Percentage Rate for each loan offer. This figure factors in all fees and expenses for the loan and is a helpful way to compare the cost of borrowing from one mortgage lender to the next.

In addition to interest rate you should look at fees. Mortgages that do not have prepayment penalties are better offers than those that do. Mortgage lenders that require Private Mortgage Insurance should be avoided as this could add hundreds of dollars to your monthly payment amount. Other favorable terms to look for are loans that do not require escrow for taxes and insurance. Good escrow companies are difficult to find and selecting a lender that does not require escrow could save you a lot of aggravation and headaches.

As you can see a good mortgage offer contains much more than favorable interest rates.

To learn more about spotting a good mortgage offer when you see one, sign up for a free mortgage help guide. It is helpful to learn mortgage terminology and how the mortgage industry works prior to shopping for a mortgage loan. If you skip this important step, how will you recognize a good deal when you find it?

Louie Latour - EzineArticles Expert Author

Louie Latour has twenty years of experience in the mortgage industry as a mortgage broker.

savannah mortgage refinance

He is the owner of Mortgages Refinance Advisor, a mortgage help site devoted to saving homeowners money with a free guidebook Mortgage Refinance: What You Need to Know.

Sign up for your free guide today at: http://www.refiadvisor.com

March 31st, 2008

How To Cope With Nasty People At Work

Posted in Hall Of Self Improvement

I worked for many years in an office environment and would have enjoyed the experience if it was not for a number of over bearing and annoying colleagues. These people seemed to spend the whole day bitching and gossiping about other people which can make life at work very stressful and uncomfortable.

After leaving school I was excited that I was now entering into the adult world. I was more than happy to leave behind me the childish ways of school life where people are constantly taking the mickey out of each other, which is apparently supposed to be fun and basically act like fools. This was certainly not what I saw as enjoyment.

I eventually obtained a position working for an insurance company where I would have to carry out basic office duties. I was slightly apprehensive as it was all new to me of course but what I found when I started to work their came as quite a shock. Some of these so called adults were also acting like they were still at school.

The males in the office were always at each others throats, throwing insults which I have to add were mainly in jest, and basically acting like they were fourteen years of age.

The women though were so annoying it was untrue. Of course it was not all of the women but just a handful of them. This however was enough to make it an uncomfortable place to work. These women were always ready to spread gossip about other people and were so two faced it was unbelievable.

As an example, I will tell you a story which I am now able to laugh about, but which at the time was quite hard to handle. I went out for a few drinks one night and in the bar, there was a woman who worked in the same office that I did. She was what I called, one of the bitches!

I went over and started talking to her. I had had a number of drinks and felt quite sociable. She had a friend with her who I have to say was very attractive and I also started to make small talk with her. I started to get on really well with this friend and thought that I had pulled etc.

After buying them both a drink I went to the toilet. Whilst I was in the toilets my friends warned this friend of my colleague not to get too close to me because I was gay (which I am not). They were just trying to ruin it for me, nice hey!

I came back to the group and both of these women had left to go somewhere else. I was most frustrated but was unaware of what had been said.

I went back to work the next day and people acted differently towards me. I later found out from a good friend that this colleague had told everyone that I was gay.

I have no problem with people who are gay and this incident showed me what it must be like for them at times.

I went up and told this woman exactly what I thought of her and warned her never to spread any rumours about me again, as it would be the last rumour she would ever spread, if she did etc.

The next few days were quite unpleasant as people were treating me like some kind of leper. I did not try to convince them that I was straight as it should not be an issue in the first place.

After this I went to work with the sole intention of doing my job, I do not need these type of people in my life.

If you work with people like I have described above, I feel sorry for you. Try hard to not let them ruin your day at work as if they do, then they will have won.

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

cheap text link ads

aviation products

phobias help

March 31st, 2008

Term Insurance

Posted in Money Management

Term insurance is a level term life insurance product that pays
out a lump sum when the insurance policyholder dies or becomes
terminally ill. It provides peace of mind to the insurance
policyholder that loved ones left behind after their death will
be financially secure. Term life insurance can be configured to
pay off all existing loans - including the mortgage - and leave
a cash sum in the bank to support your spouse and children. If
you don’t want your family to have to cope with financial
pressures during their bereavement, or struggle to find the
funds to pay for your funeral then term insurance is the life
product to have.

Term insurance is different to mortgage insurance It is
important to realise that term insurance is a different life
product to mortgage insurance. Term insurance is a long-term
insurance product that can be taken out over a lifetime of 50
years. During this time the insurance premium remains the same
as does the amount paid out in the event of death or terminal
illness.

Mortgage insurance on the other hand mirrors the life of your
outstanding mortgage loan. The insurance premiums remain the
same throughout the life of the product, but unlike term
insurance the amount paid out upon death or terminal illness
reduces in line with the outstanding mortgage loan. So, if you
were to die at the point that you owe only £2000 on your
mortgage, then the mortgage life insurance product would only
pay out £2000.

Terminal illness Terminal illness cover generally comes as
standard with term life insurance polices. The terminal illness
clause tends to trigger pay out if the insurance policyholder is
diagnosed with a terminal illness named on the term policy and
is given 12 months or less to live. Pay out in these
circumstances allows the policyholder themselves or someone with
power of attorney for the policyholder to receive the full lump
sum from the term life insurance policy. They are then free to
enjoy the final months of their life with their family free from
financial constraints.

When a term life insurance policy pays out for terminal illness
the policy will end. Therefore the life insurance company will
not be liable to pay anything further upon death of the
policyholder.

Term life insurance restrictions As with most insurance policies
there are restrictions and exclusions that apply to term life
insurance policies. The main restriction is on pay outs to term
life insurance policyholders who become critically ill, yet are
not diagnosed as terminally ill. In this case, a standard term
life insurance policy will not make a payment, unless a critical
illness policy has been added to the term life insurance.

March 31st, 2008

How to ASK for Business — WITHOUT appearing Pushy –

Posted in Sales Center

GIVING Vs “SELLING”

Never lose sight of the importance of providing a “reason” to buy BEFORE you attempt to SELL anything to a client/prospect.

In the current business climate you have to GIVE first. The very first question from a buyer is…. what is the BENEFIT to ME? Why should I change from my present supplier?

GIVE in advance of asking a prospective client/customer to buy from you. Don’t even bring up your service or product BEFORE you have completed your investigative homework.

YOUR PROSPECT ASKS –

Does my company need your service? Do we need your product? Do you have the QUALITY that we expect (demand)? Can you match your competitors pricing? Discounts? Delivery? Is your customer service better than our current supplier? Why should I change?

Your prospect is saying, “what have you done for me lately?” What is your USP (Unique Selling Proposition)? Are you DIFFERENT from the rest of the pack? Give me your elevator speech. 30 seconds! What do you do? Give it to me straight to the point and quick.

ADVERTISERS ARE SHOUTING

Huge FULL-page ads fill our local newspapers. TV overwhelms us with the latest fashions. The car manufacturers are “shouting” their best deals. “Infomercials” are “selling” us everything from diamonds to bread-makers. Magazines are bulging with STUFF. Copywriters are telling us we can’t LIVE without it. Subtle persuasions are invading our psychic to motivate action.

INSTITUTIONAL ADVERTISING

After the pretty girls and cute guys, what’s next? From the school of mail order and Internet marketing an “Institutional” AD does not compute for us. In advertising “vernacular” (mine) it is known as “NO action” advertising.

Name recognition is the game. Accountability is the same. Just LOOK at me. Do nothing! NO suggestions are made for me to take action. By some of the more “astute” promoters it is called “awareness/image” marketing.

SALES ASSOCIATES

Too many “on the road” salespersons follow the same logic. You, as a business owner or manager, have a continuing imperative to educate. Train. Teach the basics. ASK for the order! When you have done your “homework” it is OK to ask for a response. A commitment to buy.

Many don’t ask for the order because you might be considered high pressure (pushy!). Once you have earned the ear of your audience (buyer) then it is up to you to “bring home the bacon”… get the order! One way or the other, you have to ASK. Lead to a conclusion.

Educate. Inform. Show and tell. Introduce your product through sampling. Try our product and compare it to the competition. Build your creditability with value-added service and NEW offerings in the future.

Remember AIDA? Get their Attention.
Create Interest. Cause Desire. ACTION!

MAIL-ORDER AND THE INTERNET

A little background…. I spent 4 years of my early career in the mail-order business. Long before Sharper Image and many others appeared on the scene. A good experience with some unusual turn of events.

Mail order and Internet marketing have much in common. Very similar tracking abilities regarding sales and sources. No guesswork allowed. Spend DOLLARS and we expect SALES. No in-between options for the mail order or Internet guru.

If an AD fails to pay for itself then you regroup and punt. Try another route to reach your goal. You test the headlines. The “body” copy of the letter. Name lists. Op-in lists. The by-word in mail order and Internet marketing is TEST, TEST and TEST some more.

You’ve heard the ‘link’ in Real-estate values. Location! Location! Location! If you are in the right place (selling) it can mean increased profit. Buying? You will pay a higher price because of the location.

Build your home in the “right” neighborhood. If not, then you may come up a few hundred grand short on “sale” day. Good advice to remember when you buy/build a new home.

Every industry seems to have a “connector” to success.

You or I will never understand the physic of the marketplace. Trying to find the “trigger” that will make your subscribers (customers) or prospects respond takes constant testing. Asking for the order in many different ways.

Action Tip: Good business owners GIVE first. You don’t have to shout when you have the goods. Each customer/prospect is different and needs to be understood. Test everything you can. Educating your customer/prospect is primary to your success. Keep an open mind. Ask questions. Learn and grow.

EzineArticles Expert Author Don Monteith

Don Monteith spent 32 years as co-owner of several franchises and a personnel/staffing business. Every year, his firm placed hundreds of job candidates in their dream job. Today, Don shares his business and career expertise through his newest websites on the Internet. Lots of FREE ideas - suggestions - ready for your perusal and study.

http://www.Career-Coaching-Central.com
http://www.HowToGetYourDreamJob.com